Going home is always really hard on me since my mom's accident. It seems like memory after memory is thrown at me from all sides in Seattle. Which is good and bad. Good because I have so MANY good memories growing up in Seattle and having such an awesome, loving mother who taught me so well. But, also bad because it kinda shoots me back into reality that my mom is never really going to remember who I am again and that hurts more than words can say. She was my best friend whom I love soooo much, I counted on her more than I thought I did for everyday things. An ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on and of course I used to call her all the time for recipes. I hadn't realized that this Thanksgiving was the first holiday we had been in Seattle since her accident and I wasn't prepared for the ache in my heart. I don't talk to many people about what happened so I guess I should write a little about the accident. Four and a half years ago my mom was in a motorcycle accident and had a terrible brain injury. She never fully recovered, having lost her long term memory. She is now living in Idaho in a care facility in a wheel chair because she can't take care of herself. I am thankful she didn't die in the accident and I can still talk to her all the time. I guess its just difficult knowing my kids will never know how my mom was before the accident. How selfless, kind, gentle and just wonderful she was. It is extremely hard on me and I know that I wouldn't be this strong without my Lord and Savior and an extremely patient and wonderful family. I love you momma so so much, that will never change. I miss you so much and I promise I will always choose to dance!
On to the THANKS in my Thanksgiving this year. I never said a word to my in-laws about the hard time I was having without my mom this year and I never had to. My mom (in-law) is the most caring and wonderful women (other than my mom) I have ever had the privelage of meeting. And for her to be my mother-in-law I consider myself extremely blessed. I am very thankful to her and all of my in-laws for being so kind and thoughtful. I felt like I was at home this Thanksgiving and that was very comforting. I needed that. I always have such a wonderful time when visiting Jason's family. I shouldn't say Jason's family any more, they are my family. Irma can never replace my mom in my heart, and she would never want to. She is a second mom I never realized I needed and I have to say that I could not imagine a better family to marry into than the one I have. So, thank you so much to them and especially Irma for taking me into your family and loving me. It means soooooo much to me and really helped me through an extremely tough time this year. I love you!
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You are so easy to love and I couldn't be more proud of you! I loved having you here so very much and do the things that I miss doing with my kids. Our Christmas night was so fun,decorating the Christmas trees, watching you and the girls making Christmas cookies and the Christmas music and the amazing story time with Jace and Charlie the puppet! It was such a magical night. I knew that it was tough for you when you were here. God is so good to give us just what we need when we need it. The holiday's have been especially difficult for me too with my mom now gone for 3 years. I miss being able to just call her and tell her silly things and things like right now it's SNOWING.... I love that you were there for me even though you didn't know that I was dealing with that as well. Love does bring healing. I am very thankful for you and the joy you bring to our family. I love you so much.
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